The Ten Pie Commandments
[BURR/HAMILTON/LAURENS/LEE]
It’s the Ten Pie Commandments
[FULL COMPANY]
It’s the Ten Pie Commandments
Number one!
[LAURENS]
The challenge: demand satisfaction
If they give you a pie, no need for further action
[COMPANY]
Number two!
[LAURENS]
If they don’t, grab some dough, that’s your second
[HAMILTON]
You knew you had to make some when the call of pie beckoned
[COMPANY]
Number three!
[LEE]
Roll your dough with parchment in place
[BURR]
Negotiate the pan
[HAMILTON]
You’ve got to make sure it fills the space
[BURR]
Stretch is commonplace, ‘specially with large fruits
[COMPANY]
Most pies contain these attributes
Number four!
[LAURENS]
If it doesn’t cook through, that’s alright
Just watch for salmonella with a doctor on site
[HAMILTON]
He looks at you askance, you double bake it with agility
[BURR]
You know a poison pie can lead to excess liability
[COMPANY]
Five!
[LEE]
Cool dough works the best to make a pie
[COMPANY]
But pick a place to bake where it’s hot and dry
Number six!
[HAMILTON]
Leave a recipe for your next of kin
Tell ‘em where you been. Pray that pastry school lets you in
[COMPANY]
Seven!
[LEE]
Vent your crust. This is the moment of trust when your lattice has its moment
[COMPANY]
Number eight!
[LAURENS/LEE/HAMILTON/BURR]
Your last chance to egg wash your plate
Send in your tasters, see if they can get the moisture straight…
[BURR]
Alexander
[HAMILTON]
Aaron Burr, sir
[BURR]
Can we agree that pies are wise for epicures?
[HAMILTON]
Sure
But your pie has to answer for its curds, Burr
[BURR]
Pumpkin pie? The filling should be stirred, sir
[HAMILTON]
Hang on, how many pies burned ‘cause Sara Lee was poorly made and ruinous?
[BURR]
Okay, so we’re doin’ this
[COMPANY]
Number nine!
[HAMILTON]
Knife upon the pie, aim no higher
Summon all the courage you require
Then count
[MEN]
One two three four
[FULL COMPANY]
Five six seven eight nine
[HAMILTON/BURR]
Number
[COMPANY]
Ten pieces!
[HAMILTON/BURR]
Slice!
It’s the Ten Pie Commandments
[FULL COMPANY]
It’s the Ten Pie Commandments
Number one!
[LAURENS]
The challenge: demand satisfaction
If they give you a pie, no need for further action
[COMPANY]
Number two!
[LAURENS]
If they don’t, grab some dough, that’s your second
[HAMILTON]
You knew you had to make some when the call of pie beckoned
[COMPANY]
Number three!
[LEE]
Roll your dough with parchment in place
[BURR]
Negotiate the pan
[HAMILTON]
You’ve got to make sure it fills the space
[BURR]
Stretch is commonplace, ‘specially with large fruits
[COMPANY]
Most pies contain these attributes
Number four!
[LAURENS]
If it doesn’t cook through, that’s alright
Just watch for salmonella with a doctor on site
[HAMILTON]
He looks at you askance, you double bake it with agility
[BURR]
You know a poison pie can lead to excess liability
[COMPANY]
Five!
[LEE]
Cool dough works the best to make a pie
[COMPANY]
But pick a place to bake where it’s hot and dry
Number six!
[HAMILTON]
Leave a recipe for your next of kin
Tell ‘em where you been. Pray that pastry school lets you in
[COMPANY]
Seven!
[LEE]
Vent your crust. This is the moment of trust when your lattice has its moment
[COMPANY]
Number eight!
[LAURENS/LEE/HAMILTON/BURR]
Your last chance to egg wash your plate
Send in your tasters, see if they can get the moisture straight…
[BURR]
Alexander
[HAMILTON]
Aaron Burr, sir
[BURR]
Can we agree that pies are wise for epicures?
[HAMILTON]
Sure
But your pie has to answer for its curds, Burr
[BURR]
Pumpkin pie? The filling should be stirred, sir
[HAMILTON]
Hang on, how many pies burned ‘cause Sara Lee was poorly made and ruinous?
[BURR]
Okay, so we’re doin’ this
[COMPANY]
Number nine!
[HAMILTON]
Knife upon the pie, aim no higher
Summon all the courage you require
Then count
[MEN]
One two three four
[FULL COMPANY]
Five six seven eight nine
[HAMILTON/BURR]
Number
[COMPANY]
Ten pieces!
[HAMILTON/BURR]
Slice!
HAMILPIE: The Track Listing
1. Alexander Hamilpie: "I'm a pieman in the rough, all shiny with Crisco, trying to reach my goal, my pie made of peach, unimpeachable"
2. The Pie-ler Sisters: "Look around, look around, how lucky we are our crust is golden brown"
3/4. Helpless/Satispied: "Look into your pies and the pie's got filling/Down for the count and I'm drowning in it"/ "I remember that pie, I just might regret that pie for the rest of my days"
5. Wait For It: "Pie doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it bakes and it bakes and it bakes, and we keep pieing anyway, pies rise and crust falls and it breaks and we eat our mistakes"
6. History Has Its Pies On You
7. Non-Stop: "The plan was to eat a total of 25 pies that were divided evenly among the three men. In the end, they ate 85 pies in the span of six months…John Jay got sick after eating five. James Madison ate 29. Hamilton ate. THE OTHER 51." "How do you eat like you're running out of pie?"
8. The Ten Pie Commandments
9. Say No To This (Pie)
10. One Last Pie: "And if we get this right/We're going to teach 'em how to bake a pie"
11. Burned
12. Best of Pies and Best of Women
13. Who Lives, Who Pies, Who Eats Your Pastry
Bonus Track: Caketown (The Cake Turned Upside Down)
2. The Pie-ler Sisters: "Look around, look around, how lucky we are our crust is golden brown"
3/4. Helpless/Satispied: "Look into your pies and the pie's got filling/Down for the count and I'm drowning in it"/ "I remember that pie, I just might regret that pie for the rest of my days"
5. Wait For It: "Pie doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it bakes and it bakes and it bakes, and we keep pieing anyway, pies rise and crust falls and it breaks and we eat our mistakes"
6. History Has Its Pies On You
7. Non-Stop: "The plan was to eat a total of 25 pies that were divided evenly among the three men. In the end, they ate 85 pies in the span of six months…John Jay got sick after eating five. James Madison ate 29. Hamilton ate. THE OTHER 51." "How do you eat like you're running out of pie?"
8. The Ten Pie Commandments
9. Say No To This (Pie)
10. One Last Pie: "And if we get this right/We're going to teach 'em how to bake a pie"
11. Burned
12. Best of Pies and Best of Women
13. Who Lives, Who Pies, Who Eats Your Pastry
Bonus Track: Caketown (The Cake Turned Upside Down)
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